Who am I really?

Ever censor your thoughts or actions because it's not what people you know would expect from you? Not that it would be anything bad, but because people have learned to know you a certain way and have held on to that for the entire time you've known them, always being that one person they met instead of letting you change? Not letting someone change is the same as trying to change someone if you ask me. Everyone grows and continues to grow their entire lives. Why do we continue to let people stunt our mental growth by continue playing the roll they expect us to play? What if the neighborhood bully has an awakening and decides he doesn't want to bully people anymore, that he wants to make friends instead? People won't give him the time of day, they just automatically think its a ploy to get something or a joke. What if the class clown decides that's not who they are anymore and wants to be taken seriously? People will think they are joking and eventually they'll go back to being a clown even though it's not what they want. People change. It's not always a bad change, but it's different and a part of who they want to become, so why do people hold on to what they knew instead of embracing the fact that theyre watching a flower bloom right in front of them; watching light bulbs go off; witnessing someone improving themselves and becoming a better person. Are we really that shallow that we refuse to support this change and degrade people into playing the roll of the grouch or the role of someone who always fixes everything? What if the go to guy is weary and needs support and is tired of fixing everyone else's problems?? Who does the go to guy go to? I think one of the hardest parts about transformation and showing the people you live and work with everyday the change, fearful of what they might think that you will be judged. I came to a realization today that may be why I didnt clean off that car I wanted to yesterday. Someone I knew was very close cleaning off theirs and I was afraid I may be judged? But why? Why is that such a big concern. I usually don't care what people think and I do my own thing, but as I see myself changing, I realize how hard it is to break out of the shell people have known me as. One of my lifelong goals, the first of them, is to be who I want to be and quit fearing the judgement of others. No one's opinion matters more than my own and if I'm not living up to my standards because I am afraid of someone else's I will never be happy.